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Chrysler Hedge Funds Denied Motion For Protection From -- Anonymous Internet Commenters?
On Monday we brought you news that the Chrysler bond-holding hedge funds courageously defending the U.S. Constitution by holding out for a bigger payout in bankruptcy court were appealing to have their names sealed after receiving death threats.
Blaming a "hostile climate" perpetuated by the Obama administration "publicity campaign," Tom Lauria, the attorney representing the group of twenty hedge fund calling themselves the "Chrysler Non-TARP Lenders," filed a motion to seal claiming the hedge funds "targeted by the president" -- presumably Oppenheimer Funds and Stairway Capital, since those were the only funds associated with the group -- had "received various threats, including dozens of death threats directed to their employees."
But today bankruptcy court Judge Arthur Gonzales denied the motion, seeing "no evidence that authorities found the threats bona fide" -- maybe because the only evidence of said threats cited in the motion was a printout from the comments section of the Washington Post website.
We've excerpted the relevant portion of the motion after the jump, so we'll leave it to you to determine the seriousness of these elusive zealots operating pseudonymously under enigmatic handles (e.g. "jerkhoff").
From page ten of the 17-page filing -- all bold and italics Lauria's.
Certain members of the public have expressed their rage at the Chrysler non-TARP lenders. The following is a sample of posts on the Washington Post website in response to an article about Chrysler and the Chrysler Non-TARP Lenders:
- "these hedge fund managers are criminals and their firms are nothing more than criminal enterprises. What they do is nothing short of treason, using loopholes in the law to avoid prosecution. Will someone please explain to me why we don't execute these vermin."
- "These aristocrats should be lined up against the wall and executed."
- "I'm sick and tired of being blackmailed by all these financial wizards. I never had any sympathy for them to start with, but now I have lost patience with them entirely. Too bad we can't rid the world of them all."
- "Hedge funds are floating crap games that are capable of taking down entire nations. They should be criminalized."
- "Hedge funds are criminal associations."
Josh
Zachary
Oh noez! We hedgies are in mortal danger of being referenced in letters to legislators from their constituents advocating changes in the criminal statutes.
Don't laugh! If you've never been referenced in a letter, you have no idea how excruciatingly painful and debilitating it can be. It's a fate worse than death!
May 6, 2009 1:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
I, having once been alluded to in a memo, can only imagine the horror!
May 6, 2009 4:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
No worries, I am certain today that Matt Drudge, John Boehner, Michelle Malkin, Rush Limbaugh and Larry Kudlow will carry water for the $B hedge fund managers.
Those poor, poor $B hedge fund managers. I think they should the focus on the July 4 Fox News Tea Parties for America!
They NEED to be protected from these vicious blog comments!!
May 6, 2009 1:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Exactly. Everybody is against the hedge funds except those wingnuts. Even the bankruptcy judge has ruled against them.
Those hedge funds even went after Rattner saying that he bullied them during negotiations. Hello, negotiations are supposed to be tough and it sounds like Rattner is one tough motherf*cker.
Hedge funds need to stop whining. Their bluff was called by the Obama administration and they have lost.
May 6, 2009 2:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
In the right wing nut world, you are supposed to be tough and not yield at all in diplomacy.
But give full protection and no regulations to bankers & big corps.
Then go on natl TV and claim to big standing up for "the little guy".
May 6, 2009 2:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Welcome to the Internetz hedge fund managers.
May 6, 2009 1:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
As a former stockbroker and assets manager... It's well past time to regulate hedge funds and tax them as other funds are.
It's ridiculous that they have gotten away with so much for so long.
May 6, 2009 1:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
The hedge fund managers are bankers, and bankers - particularly investment bankers - want to operate in total secrecy. No rules, no oversight, just their wits against everyone else in the market who has the money to play. More oversight and more transparency limits their options to rake off fees from the money that passes through their hands. It also adds complexity to their already very complicated decision-making processes. They strongly prefer to operate in the shadows.
This court pleading has nothing to do with fear of physical threats by blog commenters. They already pay for security and their security together with the police will prevent most violence. It is a blatant attempt to get the judge to shut down public criticism of their high-and-mighty operations. That's all it is.
The judge, of course, is one of their class or he wouldn't be a judge. That's their opinion at least, and it certainly has long historical support. They expect him to help them shut down public opinion in which they look bad.
The only threat they really face is that if enough people talk about how bad and dangerous the hedge funds really are it will lead to a groundswell of public opinion that something has to be done to make them operate in a more transparent manner.
May 6, 2009 3:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
Federal judges and hedge fund managers? Totally different social classes.
Look at it this way: A bankruptcy court judge makes about the same salary as a third-year-associate in a big-city corporate bankruptcy practice. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a decent gig by most any measure but by Master of the Universe standards $170,000/year is a chump’s salary.
May 6, 2009 4:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
Same social class. Both are in the ruling class. Neither are in the working class.
They are just different in that one has a position that gives him power over others and the other has a lot of money which gives him power over others. Judges have always looked out for the wealthy. The justice system was originally designed to look out for the wealthy and powerful, and judges have been at the pinnacle of the justice system. They still do look out for the wealthy, although a democracy that operates by the Rule of Law somewhat ameliorates that.
The very wealthy, of course, frequently consider the Rule of Law to be another plebeian intrusion on their privileges.
May 6, 2009 10:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
More than a few GOOPers want to reduce taxes on capital gains even lower than the current 15 percent. Hedge fund profits are taxed at capital gains tax rates, not at wages rate. No Social Security is paid on the proceeds. Following that logic, the GOP wants hedge fundies to pocket even more money than they already do.
In the World According to GOP, people who work for their money should pay more taxes than people whose money (or someone else's money) works for them in a hedge fund.
How does this possibly benefit the Joe Sixpack wage-earning teabaggers who have more to worry about in our economy than some overpaid gamblers on Wall Street do?
They are complaining about a tax increase most of them will never pay, while the hedge fundies contribute less to the treasury. There's the outrage.
May 6, 2009 6:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Fetch ... the comfy chair!
May 6, 2009 1:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Great Monty Python reference! :)
May 6, 2009 2:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yikes! In such a short time we see the Masters of the Universe devolve into Girly Girls. Don't these hedge-guys/gals believe in Rugged Individualism and the Survival of the Fittest? Or perhaps only when it means they win? You'd think they'd be happy to play rough with blog-commenters in the scrappy world of Social Darwinism.
May 6, 2009 2:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
These bastards want to be rich and have everyone like them too? It's one or the other, assholes.
May 6, 2009 2:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
Fucking brilliant. Couldn't have said it better myself.
May 6, 2009 4:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
If they're afraid of how "Jerkhoff" feels, wait until they incur the wrath of Hugh Jass.
May 6, 2009 2:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Amen brother, but Jerkhoff and Hugh Jazz are nothing.
Once Mike Hock slaps them upside the face they will know true fear.
May 6, 2009 4:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
I have heard rumor that Phil McCracken is crafting a strongly worded blog post about them.
May 6, 2009 4:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
When they were snarky toward the Gypsies, I said nothing, because I was not a Gypsies. And when they got in a flame war with the homosexuals, I said nothing, because...
Man, doesn't have the same punch.
May 6, 2009 2:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
And then they trolled me, and there was no one left to stand up for me :(
May 6, 2009 2:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
AN NOW I HAZ A SAD
May 6, 2009 5:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
When do the hedge fund names get released?
May 6, 2009 2:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey! Didn't the AIG bonus executives use this same argument? What's up with that?
May 6, 2009 2:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
The AIG bonus executives = bankers. Thus the demand for secrecy so that they can operate in the shadows without any real oversight.
May 6, 2009 4:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Real Men of Genius. . .
Today we salute you Mr. Fancy Hedge Fund Manager. What do you get with an MBA? You get a bonus of $5 million while facing the unbridled wrath of literally dozens of crazed Internet commenters.
Here's to you.
Sincerely,
Shirley U. Geste
May 6, 2009 2:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think this is called "playing the victim card".
Yes, the shareholders who outsourced so many good jobs to Mexico and China, and pocketed the differences in wages and pollution standards - they're the victims.
The ones with diversified holdings in petroleum and in GM-Chrysler - the ones who pressured the CEOs to keep making the gas-guzzlers that kept gasoline demand high, and so sabotaged the long-term interests of the car companies - those are the ones we should feel sorry for.
Back in 2007, the "Masters of the Universe" lifestyle was cheered on in Forbes...
"Our roundup of the splashiest billionaire fetes proves that these titans don't just know how to make money, they also know how to spend it. Their parties - often costing well into the millions - are spectacular exercises in hedonism, frequently featuring intimate performances by rock stars, week-long extravaganzas on private islands and mingling with A-list crowds of other magnates and celebrities. Not to mention all the finest champagne, caviar and other gourmet treats they can get down their gold-plated gullets."
"One of the hottest tickets of 2007 was an invitation to the 60th birthday party of private equity king Stephen Schwarzman, which took place in February just four days after his Blackstone group announced the world's biggest buyout ever, a $39 billion deal involving commercial-building empire Equity Office Group."
"Held in the cavernous Park Avenue Armory on Manhattan's swank upper east side, the party, reported to have cost $3 million, drew 350 guests including Donald Trump, new Merrill Lynch (nyse: MER) chief John Thain, TV personalities Maria Bartiromo and Barbara Walters and Washington D.C. insider Vernon Jordan. Rod Stewart performed and Patti LaBelle sang happy birthday."
And now, they're being accused of criminal behavior on the Internet - that's just terrible.
May 6, 2009 3:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
When they're helping drive the economy, they may be a good thing. When they don't care if they're steering it over a cliff, they're a big part of the problem.
May 6, 2009 5:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
I say we invade their country and convert them to socialism.
May 6, 2009 3:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
Josh... quick, you've gotta make a deal to raise funds, via the selling of buttons to your readers:
"I AM JERKHOFF!"
:-)
May 6, 2009 3:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
Will someone please explain to me why we don't all just line-up and put these hedge fund managers through the spanking machine?
May 6, 2009 3:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
Spanking machine?
Aren't the traditional tumbrel and guillotine good enough for them? Or perhaps the traditional Ducking-stools and stocks for misdemeanors?
[For the conservatives and other humor-impaired, this is intended as snark.]
May 6, 2009 4:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yes, but I am talking about giving them a really good spanking, the kind that will prevent them from being able to sit down for a whole week.
May 6, 2009 5:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
You see this, hedge fund managers? (Holds up thumb and forefinger pinched together, like showing someone a flea). This is the world's tiniest violain, and it's playing My Heart Pumps Purple Piss just for you.
May 6, 2009 4:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
I have nothing against the concept of investing, at least conceptually. Even the notion of personal wealth (again, as a concept) doesn't really disturb me.
However, for people whose primary focus in life is an almost sociopathic self-interest, marked by continual acquisition and brutal, Darwinian competition, I have no sympathy.
Both actively and passively, Hedge funds (along with the active support of the global financial community) created the collapse we're all living through -- and that, as Little People, generations of us will have to pay for.
But, it isn't enough for these coddled punks to have their corporate losses paid for by money from the pockets of people who actually work for a living -- in the Trillions -- and we haven't even seen the beginning of the end of this collapse yet.
It isn't enough that they and their families enjoy relative plenty, while mine does without, and families I know are torn apart by loss of jobs and homes. These Master Of The Universe have the arrogant stupidity to whine and complain when they're criticized -- rightly so, and bitterly, even viciously -- for what they've done.
They claim they're victims of economic hard times, too -- because they only received single-digit-millions in bonuses this year. They had to let a household staff member go; or, they might have to sell a condo. Life's still a banquet for these people, while people who used to be consdiered middle-class are queuing up at Food Banks to make sure their children can eat.
They're surprised that people believe they should be "criminalized" "executed", exterminated? People are more than simply upset; they're enraged, primarly because these Masters Of The Universe who helped to create this disaster will never, ever feel a moment's discomfort in any real way.
May 6, 2009 4:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
If I said: "I hope all hedge fund managers get leprosy", would that be beyond the pale?
May 6, 2009 5:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
2 Billion Taxpayer Dollars to Chrysler then a month later Bankruptcy filing?
Will the question be asked and/or at some time in the future, 'What is really going on'?
Certainly the Stimilus Bill should have retained the Platts/ Van Hollins Obama 'Federal Employee Whistleblower Protection Enhancement Restoration Act' that was removed at the last minute Secret Conference by US Senator Susan Collins and US President Barack Obama.
May 6, 2009 6:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Who would have thought that The Big Swinging D's were so sensitive.
May 6, 2009 6:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
How much did the Hedge fund have to pay for the writing of the threats?
May 6, 2009 8:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
There was a comment on McClatchy calling the administration in the White House "toxic waste."
I wonder if the President will sue.
May 7, 2009 7:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
Public hangings would be more cost efficient.You can use the same rope many times.
May 7, 2009 8:40 AM | Reply | Permalink