Begolly also floated the idea of organizing a suicide terrorist attack by purchasing an old Buick, filling it with gas tanks and then lighting the car on fire. Desire to become a “shaheed” — the Arabic word for martyr — was a common thread in the conversations. “the shaheed feels no pain except like a bee sting,” he wrote.
Clues about Begolly’s unhappy home life are scattered through the transcript. In one IM conversation, Begolly says his father Sean Begolly physically abused his stepmother. “i heard my stepmoms overies burst…i think it was cause…my dad kicked her…” Begolly wrote that his father is verbally abusive and “used to hit me when i was small to make aman out of me.”
Evidence also brought into question whether the suspect’s father knew more about his son’s activity than he let on in court. “u know my father is aware of my being a admin on [a jihadist forum] and he doesnt care cause him own militia they think obama wants to kill white ppl,” Begolly wrote on Nov. 22.
At times, Begolly almost sounds like a typical — albeit depressed — Pennsylvania boy. He describes his love of hiking and walking in the snow. But statement like “i have no ambition in life… i don’t care if i do get married… or finish school… or anything… all i want to do is… please God…” show that Begolly was dangerously fixated on doing what he believed was a religious duty.
“i am a coward,” he wrote. “cause i have every means… but yet i am here… sitting on my ass.”
“Usama is just a man too u know… someday he will die… eitherfighting… or of his liver issues… but there is always someone,” Begolly allegedly wrote.
Begolly wondered why the “the man” hadn’t come to visit him yet. “i will never go to jail i am like the american forefathers whose ideals i do think were good i say live free or die,” he wrote.
If he ever was arrested, Begolly knew exactly the lawyer from “Law & Order” he’d pick.
“u know i met sam waterston… if i was ever arrested for terrorism id call him and get him to be my lawyer,” Begolly wrote. “i don’t think he’s jewish but either way id call up jewey jewstein and the judge would take one look at the size of his nose and throw the case out.”
But Begolly never thought that day would come.
“i think they r chicken,” he wrote. “if i had the choice between 12 jourors [sic] and 6 palbearers [sic] id choose the latter any day ;).”
The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review posted this video of some of the evidence the FBI showed at the detention hearing on Thursday.