One thing for sure in this crazy, mixed up economy, a guy who can play a decent jazz piano will always find work. Unfortunately, that guy isn't me, but I guess you knew that.

Posted at July 2, 2008 4:32 PM in response to A Warning For Young Workers: The Up-Escalator May Be Broken

Holy crap! Read through this comment thread. Unbelievable! People, you can have everything you want in America, all you gotta do is two things: Stay outta debt, and control your reproduction (I said control, not eliminate!)

Do that, and stay outta prison, and you got it made. Fail at any, or all of those three things, and your row is gonna be much harder to hoe.

A good digestion helps, too.

Posted at July 2, 2008 4:26 PM in response to A Warning For Young Workers: The Up-Escalator May Be Broken

As long as bosses have single (hell, or married) daughters, I'll do allright!

As for Mr Greenhouse, the solution is clear: give your daughter your job!

Posted at July 2, 2008 4:19 PM in response to A Warning For Young Workers: The Up-Escalator May Be Broken

By this illogic, have Doug Feith and Brad Schlozman done a lot to discredit hard-working white appointees?

Maybe not, but they, and some others you could name have not done a lot to enhance the reputation of Jews as ethical, compassionate people.
Of course, as soon as a Jew so much as touches Zionism, he's headed for a viscious downward spiral. At this point, I think of them as two seperate religions. Well, one is a religion, one is a cult. A cult which has been sucessful in stealing a country, but a cult nonetheless.
And yes, I am a Jew.

Posted at June 21, 2008 11:29 AM in response to Flores Faces Criminal Investigation

Raise your hand if you don't know it's trash day. I miss trash day once in a while because I think I can get in a shower before they show up in the morning... (I like to be spring fresh for the trash men, see) but I haven't needed to be asked or told to take out the trash since I was about seven...

Not funny, pal. Not funny at all. I'll have you know my wife (as I found out about a year after we got married, 19 years ago next month) shot her former husband for being late to the curb with the can. Well, actually she fired when he said (you'll say almost anything when you're looking down the barrel of a .25 pearl-handled automatic) the garbagemen were going to turn around and get the late can! Which they never do, of course, and when she heard that, the Judge dismissed the case!

Posted at June 21, 2008 11:21 AM in response to Did GOP Senator Fake An Ad Showing Him Cozy With Wife?

Nora Neat, Char Cole and Ruby from Suck-a-Tomato.
Gosh, how I miss those guys. They were some great girls.
If you haven't watched an afternoon TV movie, with those queens supplying the dialogue, you haven't lived, or maybe you have.
They were something- they used to transvest, go out and troll for sailors, and when the sailors became indignant at the gender fraud, they would beat the salors up. After all, some of them were ex-Marines.
Some day I'll tell you about the Coronation (at the SF Hilton, complete with Bible-thumpin protestors) they took me and my wife to. (She made a fast repair on a gown, and the tickets were a thank-you)
That girl was a hell of a sewer. No, I mean she could sew.

Posted at June 19, 2008 11:15 PM in response to Going undercover for the Lord - infiltrating the gay club scene

Been there, done that. In fact I had a very narrow escape while on a mission. I was downstairs at an apartment where a gay dope dealer lived, when a bunch of his drag queen friends and their boyfriends came over. Somebody dumped an ounce of coke on a plate, like it was some kind of appetiser. Well, what could I do? I had to prove my boner fides by snortin' along with the best of them. After I made a pig of myself with the host's drugs, the lights started going down, and I realised I was the new guy in the room, the "fresh meat" in their vulgar argot. Remember, I had more of my hair and my teeth then, not to mention a body which (if I do say so myself) capsized the senses (or so I'm told). I sensed danger! My entreaties, that I was saving myself for the man I married, were in vain.
Soon, I would be struggling like a wounded bird in a cats claws for my very honor! However, before syncope put an end to my awareness, I remembered the magic words: "Uh, guys, I think I hear my wife calling me!" I said, and beat a hasty retreat.
And you know, nobody held it against me, really. But do I wish they had? That, friends, is another story.

Posted at June 19, 2008 11:06 PM in response to Going undercover for the Lord - infiltrating the gay club scene

I'm not typically a flag waver, but for example when too many Europeans were kicking America in the runup to Iraq, I patiently explained to them that the European attitude of just pretending nothing was wrong and leaving regional problems unsolved waiting to blow up was not the pro-active foreign policy needed at that time,

And how's that "pro-active" (don't you mean Pre-emptive or preventitive) foreign policy working out for you now, buddy?

Or have you been too busy scouting for CEOs to notice.

What a frickin' schlemiel!

Posted at June 19, 2008 10:53 PM in response to Michelle's moment.

The song I want to hear is from the same musical. It became a standard. It's called "The Party's Over".

Posted at June 11, 2008 1:48 PM in response to Today's Must Read

Really, when you think about it, where else would you go:

"In Salzburg by the sea,
Where love and laughter live eternally.
In Salzburg by the hill,
Where gondolas go gliding by the mill

Tropical nights

Festival lights

Strudel for two at the midnight bull fights.

Arriba!

In Salzburg, Lovely Salzburg
Where the flying fishes play
Where the schnitzel is high as an elephant's eyes
And the skies are not cloudy all day.
Come to Salzburg with me...
(spoken) Liebchen!
By the sea!

O-le!

In Salzburg by the sea
Where all the worlds in love with gay Paree
In Salzburg on the shore
Where Geisha girls keep coming back for more

We'll live in style

Gold by the pile

Goulash for two as we barge down the Nile.
In Salzburg, Lovely Salzburg
Where the corn and 'taters grow.
In our sweet home sweet home all the roads lead to Rome,
So, my darling,
Let's hurry and go!

Come to Salzburg with me
Liebchen!
By the sea.
O-le"

Posted at June 11, 2008 12:40 PM in response to Today's Must Read