Tony Rudy: Gonna See the Folks I Dig, Even Kiss a Sunset Pig
The former DeLay staffer, who copped a plea in April and has since been cooperating with prosecutors, wants to move to California, Roll Call reports. "That’s about as far away as you can go,” one lobbyist told Roll Call. The Rudys have put their 6,000-square-foot Alexandria home on the market -- it's a horrible time to sell, by the way -- for $1.895 million. (Roll Call: "'It is what you are looking for,' a virtual tour of the property declares.") (Apologies to Joni Mitchell for the headline on this.) (Roll Call)

And in other muck. . . .

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DeLay: Did Somebody Say This Was the Blue Room?
Ah, the freedom that comes from leaving elected office.

A few weeks after departing the House of Representatives, Tom DeLay served as charity auctioneer at a fundraiser for Safari Club International, a gun-lobby group defending man's right to defend himself against unarmed animals.

“Who wants a beaver?” DeLay asked the crowd, hawking a sheared-beaver vest that a lobbyist later won for $1,400.

"Hoots," reports Roll Call's Mary Ann Akers, "and hollers followed." Probably because the crowd of hunters, hunter-lovers, and those who make their living kissing up to hunter-loving lawmakers understood that "beaver" is a slang term for vagina -- although, who knows, maybe they were super-excited about the flat-tailed, dam-building rodents.

“Everybody likes beaver, even women,” DeLay declared happily, with a passion he once reserved for attacking "liberals." “The best thing about it, it’s a shaved beaver!" he exclaimed -- blissfully ignorant, it would seem, of the disturbing psychosexual inference that prepubescence is somehow erotic in a female partner.

Akers noted that observers thought DeLay "looked happier and more relaxed than ever." I think that's six-beers drunk, according to our Washington Journalist decoder rings. ("Unusually gregarious" is three beers, "chatty" is two. Any lawmaker's behavior past "Happier and more relaxed than ever" usually involves falling down in a gutter, visiting a house of ill repute or throwing up, and you're not supposed to report that.)

But his vagina jokes weren't used up! He used the occasion to insult either the female genitalia or the wildlife of North Carolina:

At one point, as the bidding went up, DeLay pointed in the crowd to Sen. Richard Burr (R-N.C.) as he held up the fur vest and said, “Sen. Burr, they don’t have beaver like this down in North Carolina.”

Ah, well played, Mr. DeLay. Your rapier wit will be missed. Why didn't you ever show up "happy and relaxed" for debates on the House floor? It would have done wonders for C-Span's ratings.

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Vodka Giant Sticks with Firm that Screwed Them
If somebody bilked you out of thousands of dollars, you'd probably sever ties with them. In Jack Abramoff's case, that's almost universally the case: nearly every client who got screwed over by his shenanigans have cut ties with his colleagues.

Except one: Stoli Vodka. E-mails have become public showing Abramoff associate Richard Edlin milked them for $25,000 to help pay for the now-infamous Scotland golf trip for Abramoff, Rep. Bob Ney (R-OH), now-convicted felon and former White House official David Safavian and others.

But Stoli stands by their man. Recent lobbying disclosures show that Edlin continues to represent Stoli's parent company, SPI Spirits, The Hill newspaper reports.

In other muck. . .

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To Abramoff, African Client was "Monkey Coloney"
Jack Abramoff was a devout and observant Jew, we're told. But his religiosity slipped at times -- especially when talking about the clients he considered his marks.

For instance, the tiny African nation of Gabon -- whom Abramoff tried to swindle for $9 million in exchange for setting up a meeting with President Bush -- he referred to as "a monkey coloney [sic]."

We already knew his pet name for some Native American tribes ("troglodytes"), although apparently his nefarious sidekick, Michael Scanlon, didn't know what the word meant. “What am I, a dictionary? :) It’s a lower form of existence, basically,” Abramoff e-mailed Scanlon. Just to be clear, Jack added that the indians were "morons." (Roll Call)

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New 'Murtha Lied' Website Posts 'Hateful' Emails after Liberal Blogs Start Digging
"A new Website devoted to the "lies" of Pennsylvania Democratic Congressman Jack Murtha went live a few days early in order to post "hateful" emails sent by readers of liberal blogs that were tipped off early and had already begun digging into the site's background.... Although the original url for the Website was to be www.murthalied.com, a few days ago, one of the site's founders, retired Navy Captain Larry Bailey, purchased a new url at BootMurtha.com. Bailey served as president of Vietnam Veterans For The Truth, which attacked 2004 Democratic Presidential candidate Senator John Kerry's military record, on the heels of the more well-known Swift Boat Veterans For Truth." (Raw Story)

In other muck. . .

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More Questions Raised over KY Blog Ban
Kentucky officials have said the blog ban on state computers blocks blogs of every stripe. So why are some blogs -- like TPMmuckraker -- banned, while others, belonging to Rush Limbaugh and Matt Drudge, are still available? Now even the New York Times is curious. (NYTimes)

And in other muck. . .

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Convicted Former White House Official Steps Up Fundraising Efforts
Days after a jury found him guilty on four felony counts, David Safavian sent a mass email to friends and supporters. He described himself as "numb — sort of an emotional paralysis," according to Roll Call, which obtained a copy of the note.

But he fought through that paralysis to write his pitch: I'm hanging in there, my family is great, and by the way I'm starting a legal defense fund. He went with a very soft appeal, leading with several paragraphs about the support he's received from his family and friends, a bit about his daughter, a couple grafs on his legal options. . . and finally, the ask:

What do I do now? I know I need to work on the legal defense fund, and am thinking about whether there is a story to tell here. But beyond that, I’m not quite sure. I’m praying for clarity and strength as Jennifer and I begin this next phase of our life together.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. And thank you for what you have done so far. I’m truly grateful.

David

Keep those cards and letters coming, folks. (Roll Call)

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The Rescue Dog Ate My Alibi
Sometimes a story looks mucky, but you don't know what to make of it. A great example: AP reports that in May, a New Hampshire congressional candidate was discovered in the woods by a state police rescue dog.

The man, Gary Dodds, told police he had been in a car crash over 24 hours earlier. He had wandered from the scene in a daze, swam across a river and huddled in the woods until he was found, he said.

But police suspected his story. Why?

Dodds' clothes were mostly dry but his shoes wet when he was found. He spoke of a head injury but had no bumps or bruises on his head from the car crash, and no one saw or heard him cross the Bellamy River, police said.

While Dodds claimed to have frostbite on his feet, he didn't have it on his hands, ears, nose and face, the affidavit said.

Police also questioned Dodds' travels, noting that Dodds' turnpike pass records contradicted his statements.

Dodd says the facts of his case have been distorted by the media. The police are investigating him on three possible charges: theft of services, falsifying physical evidence and false public alarms.

Maybe that's all against the law in New Hampshire. But aren't those good skills to have if you're going to hold a seat in Congress?

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Approps Lobbyists Fear Effect of Lewis Probe
Lobbyists who specialize in winning earmarks for their clients are nervous about the effect of the federal probe into House appropriations chairman Jerry Lewis (R-CA) and the Copeland Lowery lobbying firm, Roll Call reports. One lobbyist told them that the investigation could have a more chilling effect on their business than the Jack Abramoff scandal, or the Cunningham fiasco:

After all, this lobbyist said, Abramoff’s scheme of charging clients millions of dollars to do grass-roots work and maintaining a secret partnership with Michael Scanlon is not something most lobbyists do. But raising money for Members and then asking them for appropriations is routine.

“If you have clients who want earmarks, get earmarks and then contribute to the Congressman — that’s everybody,” this lobbyist said.

Why - why - if a fella can't swap an earmark for a contribution, government money might get spent based on merit and need, not on free-market favoritism! One shudders to think it. (Roll Call)

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Corporate Cash Shifting toward Democrats

In a development that is supposedly good news for the Democratic Party, corporate interests have decided the party's candidates may soon have enough proximity to power to justify a raise in rates. The Wall Street Journal reports a number of corporate groups have upped giving to Dems by something like 10 percent of their total largesse for this round of elections.

What's more, high-powered lobbying firms -- until recently exclusive GOP redoubts -- are now signing up Democrats to help fight their clients' battles:

The Federalist Group is a corporate lobbying shop founded by Republicans soon after the party took over Congress in 1994. In its first eight years, the firm only hired Republicans, including former aides to onetime House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, and President Bush.

Four lobbyists recently hired by the firm, beginning earlier this year, are Democrats, including a former House member from Louisiana and a health-care aide to liberal icon Edward Kennedy, the Democratic senator from Massachusetts.

In other muck. . .

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Huckabee: Flight Not Conflict of Interest
"Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee said Thursday a flight he took on a private plane that was provided by a state contract-holder did not pose a conflict of interest. The plane was provided by the director of a youth ranch that has been paid at least $8.5 million through a contract with the state. Huckabee said the flight was not a gift to him, but instead was an in-kind contribution to his political action committee." (AP)

In other muck. . .

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Boehner Got Lucky at Michigan Rest Stop
Last August, the man who would be the next House Majority Leader was driving through the Mitten State on a political jaunt when he needed a pee break. The rest stop -- his spokesman referred to it as a "casino rest stop," which we thought only existed in our dreams -- featured a slot machine. Boehner played and won $2,700.

Now, there are two kinds of luck that strike politician gamblers. There's the Rep. Bob Ney (R-OH) "I won $32,000 on a couple hands of cards" luck, and there's the Sen. Judd Gregg (R-NH) "I won $850,000 playing Powerball" luck. Which is to say, the latter sounds a lot more like luck. It's not clear if Boehner's is the former or the latter. All we know is, we're going to start taking more chances in strange rest stops. . .

And in other muck...

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DeLay in Hot Water. . . or Hot Tub?

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay thought he'd help out the Republicans in his new home state of Virginia by recording an "robo-call" message to voters. “Hello, this is Tom DeLay," his message began. He mentioned how he battled Democratic Rep. Jim Moran (VA) for 14 years.

And then he added, “I recently re-registered to vote in Northern California.” Indeed, he has not; DeLay has registered to vote in Northern Virginia. But tell that to the legions of Virginians who now believe Tom DeLay is hot-tubbing in Sonoma.

Mmm. Tom DeLay hot tubbing. . . (Roll Call)

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Fitzgerald Won't Charge Rove, Adviser's Lawyer Says

The prosecutor in the C.I.A. leak case on Monday advised Karl Rove, the senior White House adviser, that he would not be charged with any wrongdoing, effectively ending the nearly three-year criminal investigation that had at times focused intensely on Mr. Rove.

The decision by the prosecutor, Patrick J. Fitzgerald, announced in a letter to Mr. Rove's lawyer, Robert D. Luskin, lifted a pall that had hung over Mr. Rove who testified on five occasions to a federal grand jury about his involvement in the disclosure of an intelligence officer's identity.

In a statement, Mr. Luskin said, "On June 12, 2006, Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald formally advised us that he does not anticipate seeking charges against Karl Rove."

Mr. Fitzgerald's spokesman, Randall Samborn, said he would not comment on Mr. Rove's status.

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Democrats Fight DeLay over Residency

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay voted absentee in Virginia on Friday, while Democrats in his longtime home state claimed he is still a Texas resident and belongs on the fall ballot....

Under the Texas Election Code, DeLay must "conclusively" establish by public record that he is a resident of another state, said Chad Dunn, an attorney for the state Democratic Party. Democrats contend he hasn't done so because he still has a Texas driver's license, was registered to vote in Fort Bend County, Texas, as of Thursday and gets a Texas homestead exemption.

DeLay told reporters Thursday he is a Virginia resident and planned to vote next week. Flaherty said he obtained a Virginia driver's license and registered to vote in Virginia in late April or early May. She said he voted absentee because he will be traveling Tuesday, the state's primary day.

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Dems File Suit to Force DeLay's Name to Stay on TX Ballot
Texas Democrats are pushing to keep Tom DeLay's name on the Texas ballot in November. DeLay stayed in the race through the GOP primary, winning that contest before withdrawing from the race. The tactic was meant to ensure that the GOP could hand-pick his successor, but now Dems argue that he should be forced to finish what he started -- even if he has already resigned his seat in Congress and announced he has no intention of serving again. The movement picked up a small win yesterday, when a judge issued a temporary restraining order on the process that would have officially removed DeLay's name from the ballot. (AP)

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Lawmakers Ask Judge to Call Jefferson Search Unconstitutional
House leaders from both parties asked a federal judge Wednesday to declare the late-night search of Rep. William Jefferson's office violated the Constitution, a move that could undermine part of a lengthy bribery investigation of the Louisiana Democrat. In a 43-page court filing, the House leaders accused the FBI and Justice Department of conducting a heavy-handed search of Jefferson's office May 20-21 and threatening the balance of power in government in the process. (AP)

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Katherine Harris: Turtle-Lover, Friend of the Working Dog
Forget all the awful things you've heard about Rep. Katherine Harris (R-FL). Did you know she loves animals? The New York Times is first with the scoop:

When a supporter. . . said he once witnessed Ms. Harris leave her vehicle to escort a turtle across a highway, [Harris] became gravely serious.

"All of my life I have stopped for turtles," [Harris] said firmly, even defensively, as if someone had challenged her commitment to turtle safety.

That's not all. If elected to the Senate, Harris vows to train seeing-eye dogs:

Ms. Harris explains that she intends to participate in a program that provides guide dogs for volunteers to train.. . . She will care for the dog for 18 months, spending nearly all her waking hours with it. "You can't let them sleep in bed with you," Ms. Harris said. "Which is going to be harder on me than the dog."

As the old saw goes, if you want a friend in Washington get a dog. And given the shabby way the White House and Beltway Republicans have treated her, getting a dog is probably a smart move for Harris. (NYTimes)

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Washington Bids "Au Revoir" To DeLay
Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay's last day in Congress is Friday, and the soirees are aplenty. Tonight DeLay hosts his own appreciation dinner for his security detail. Friday, he will address the Capitol Police, and his wife Christine will help him host an open house in his offices. (Y'all stop by!)

But the real fete was Monday night, when the Texas Congressional delegation held a dinner in his honor -- in a French restaurant: Le Paradou, a posh "jacket preferred" French eatery. It was an odd choice, given DeLay's frequent excoriation of the French for their unwillingness to invade and occupy Iraq -- and his needling of former Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) for his knowledge of the language.

A spokeswoman for DeLay denied that the restaurant was French ("This is an American restaurant (last I checked the owner came here from France some 30 years ago) that serves French cuisine," she told AP), but she revealed that DeLay himself was French. (AP, The Hill)

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Roll Call: Lewis Probe Heating Up
The investigation into dealings involving House Appropriations Chairman Jerry Lewis (R-CA) appears to be picking up steam. At least four clients of Copeland Lowery Jacquez and Denton -- a lobby firm with notoriously close ties to Lewis -- are confirmed to have received subpoenas. Feds are looking at the ties between Lewis and Copeland Lowery. "Copeland Lowery’s clients, many of which are in Lewis’ own district, are heavy donors to the California Republican," Roll Call explains, "and they have received tens of millions of dollars in federal earmarks thanks to Lewis’ clout."

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Brian Ross Crosses Mickey Mouse
Because of the report from ABC's investigative unit that House Speaker Dennis Hastert has attracted interest from federal investigators in the Abramoff matter, ABC's corporate parent is expecting headaches as it lobbies on unrelated legislation. In particular, Disney was pushing to roll back a provision in a recent tax bill that they project costs movie studios $180 million* over a decade. (WSJ)

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Ethics Watchdogs: Safavian Wasn't Honest
In the waning days of the prosecution's case against Jack Abramoff pal and former White House official David Safavian, government lawyers dispatched a short parade of two government lawyers and an investigator who said Safavian had lied to them about his dealings with disgraced superlobbyist Abramoff. Safavian faces five counts of lying to investigators. (AP)

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